E-Book Review 20: Phebe Bodelle – Slut Wife

E-Book Review 20: Phebe Bodelle – Slut Wife

Sum it up, Bitch: Sexually promiscuous Laura fucks around a lot, gets married to her male equivalent, then fucks around a lot.

Review it, Sexy Beast: As I continue my odyssey through the world of written erotica (some say cliterature, some say wank books), it feels as if most publications fall easily into certain categories within the hot and sexy genre (with the possible exception of the extremely singular Alice’s Sexual Discovery in a Wonderful Land, which deserves a category all of its own). This short story,  by the prolific Phebe Bodelle (15 works in the last two years, no less), is part of a category that feels like… well, the closest I can get is the written equivalent of amateur porn. It’s joyful, in its way; it’s fun, yet a little odd; and it’s almost totally lacking in anything like plot or suspense or even much sense of lust or desire for other humans – only for the act of a prick entering a cunt or an asshole or a mouth. It’s animalistic. It’s fucking in the raw, for the sake of fucking in the raw.slut

‘Slut Wife’ stars Laura, a self-confessed slut who can’t get enough sex. She loves it. Absolutely loves it. And doesn’t care who knows it. Early on she meets a guy at a bar and takes him home to fuck his brains out, but like all the other men she meets, his sex drive isn’t wild or consistent enough for her. Her next encounter is with three black men (‘I have no problem with colour’, she helpfully informs us, before taking a cock in each hole as if on a crusade to prove her commitment to multiculturalism), after they help her fix a flat tyre on a lonely road. And then she meets Justin.

Justin is a human fucking machine. He’s the only man she’s met that can keep up with her and vice versa, so naturally, after a while, they get married. They swing with Justin’s best friend and his fiancee, get involved in orgies on their honeymoon, and generally fuck around. A lot.

That’s pretty much it, so if straight-to-the-point, raw-as-hell fucking is your bag, then this is definitely for you. Personally, I like stories to woo me just a little, to create some excitement, to hint at possibilities, to describe the sex with some elegance in amongst the delicious filth. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

‘Slut Wife’ is just a little too earthy. For example: ‘I used a hand to wank the length of his cock while my lips got to work on the knob head. He tasted mostly fresh with just a hint of pee, must have showered.’ Now, that line did make me laugh, but it’s not erotic. At least, not for me – I’m perfectly aware that some people reading this may adore water sports.

And this certainly is a story filled with interesting turns of phrases that might make you pause, scrunch up your mouth, or stifle a giggle: ‘By this time the fire of passion was burning in my gut and only a good dollop of creamy cum pumping inside me would put it out.’ As I say – it’s very… to the point.

Phebe could also do with a proofreader – there are a few mistakes in this story, most of them not too noticeable, but she does get confused at least twice over one particular word: ‘I reached over to his crutch and was well satisfied with the big solid bulge I felt.’ To be fair, crutches are usually pretty solid, or they’re not much use to anyone.

It is a fun read, but essentially it’s a series of very graphic, no holds-barred sexual encounters strung together with very little in between.

Rate it, Sex Kitten: Three out of Five Stars.
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E-Book Review 19: Katie Cramer – What Lisa Did

E-Book Review 19: Katie Cramer – What Lisa Did

Sum it up, Hot Lips: Lisa, a mother in her mid-30s, receives an unusual ‘present’ from her husband. But is it for her enjoyment – or his?

Review it, Stud: I picked this up almost randomly on Amazon as it was advertised in my ‘Customers who bought this…’ section. I went for it because it was a short story, it sounded a bit different from what I’ve read before and because it was free. Now, normally, I don’t go for freebies. I’m suspicious of them. Katie Cramer has put the first two sections of her ‘What Lisa Did’ trilogy up as free, but you need to pay for the last one. I do get the marketing behind that, which obviously works for a lot of people, but still, even though I know the best things in life are free, I tend to not include short e-books in that category. So it was with a broadening smile that I read this delicious, well-constructed and very hot tale.lisa

First of all, it’s well written. As I explore the world of erotica I’m finding that there is a chasm between the best stuff and the worst stuff in terms of style and ability to actually write. While this isn’t an all-time classic, the style and the characterisations are a delight and it’s a story that grabbed my attention and then held it effortlessly for its 10,000-odd words.

Lisa is a happily-married mother. She enjoys a passable, but far from sparkling sexual relationship with husband Rob, who seems like a loving gent. All in all their life seems pretty standard. But, for her 35th birthday, he decides to give her an unusual gift. Yes, lingerie, of course. But Rob isn’t the one Lisa will be wearing it for – it’s a man named Dan, a professional stud who describes himself as a ‘cock for hire’ (and what a cock it is!), that will have the pleasure of unwrapping the beautiful Lisa.

So, it’s a nice premise, but where it stands apart from many stories is in the characters. Lisa is a completely believable 35-year-old woman, full of conflicting thoughts, of a belief that she’s happy, with a nagging a doubt that she could be happier. Because they’ve been married for a while, she doesn’t quite realise, or has forgotten, how desirable she is or can be. So she has lost a bit of confidence in herself. We see her go out for a drink with a girlfriend and their conversation feels normal, not forced, as if the author herself might have similar conversations every week.

So, even within this short story, you quickly find yourself relating to Lisa, you like her and feel like you understand her. And, for me, this knowledge of a character makes the sex all the better. And certainly Katie does not let us down when it comes to the big scene with Dan – which is being filmed for Rob’s enjoyment at a later date. It’s beautifully played, well described, believable and pleasingly dirty. Basically, a very well written bit of fucking. Lovely. Lisa’s gradual flowering from timid and unsure to bold and confident is perfectly conveyed and makes for an extremely erotic encounter with an experienced, selfless and gorgeous professional lover.

The story, however, is billed as ‘cuckold erotica’ and all the way through I kept thinking to myself – how is Rob a cuckold here? You’ll have to read to find out the how and the why, but the punchline is delivered with the sort of sly subtlety that will make you eager to pick up volume 2 – I know i will be.

Rate it, Honey Bunny: Five out of Five Stars.
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E-Book Review 18: Emma Styles – Distracted

E-Book Review 18: Emma Styles – Distracted

Sum it up, Cheeky: Emma’s back with lots more squirting, gushing and swallowing – this time, in Spain!

Review it, you dirty bitch: Emma Styles’ first rampantly filthy memoir (First Tango in Paris, reviewed here) was an orgasmic success on both sides of the Atlantic, rocketing her to the top of the erotica charts on Amazon for several weeks. She’s been promising a kind of follow-up, but while we wait for that, she’s released this short appetiser detailing her various sexual encounters in Spain that she enjoyed while trying to write the sequel.distracted

Fans of her first book will not be disappointed because essentially it’s more of the same. Emma’s delightfully insatiable appetite for sex and fearless pursuit of carnal pleasure make for a typically easy and fun romp of a read as she samples the local cuisine, the local wine and, naturally, the local men and women. There are fabulously naughty scenes on a nudist beach, a poolside party that gets completely out of control and, to top it off, a raucously decadent orgy in which Emma and her friend Antonia are furiously feasted upon by a ravenous gaggle of well-hung studs.

Emma’s life seems rather like how it might feel to live in a porno movie. Almost everyone is up for some fun, although here everyone is also incredibly polite and well-behaved. It’s a kind of sexual utopia: very free love, perhaps, but less hippyish. Emma herself, you’ll be pleased to know, is still a prodigious gusher at even the slightest of hint of stimulation, while all her male counterparts, even the old ones who she jacks off in the shady areas of the nudist beach, never fail to shoot torrents of spunk into the air after a few minutes of attention from her tongue or expert fingers. The only surprise is that we haven’t yet heard of Emma fucking the plumber.

Can all this really be true? Are there really people who live this kind of sexually deviant (I use the word in the nicest, spiciest possible way, of course) and decadent lives, with time taken up by sex, alcohol, poppers and a bit of writing when there’s time? Are orgies this commonplace? It seems so – but in fact it doesn’t really matter – just imagining that this is all true is fun enough.

It’s difficult to sum Emma’s work up succinctly. It’s a struggle to call it ‘erotica’, as such, because her descriptions of sex are delivered in such a matter-of-fact way – possibly because for Emma, incredible group sex or fucking a kindly, horny, rich, suave gent, aren’t the once-in-a-lifetime events they might be for most of the rest of us. That doesn’t mean reading about her adventures isn’t hot, because it is, but Emma’s aim is not to build a scene, to create an erotic spectacle full of flowery language and eager suspense, with a climactic release at the end. She’s just telling us about her real life sex life. And in that sense, she’s found a rather lovely niche amidst all the 50 Shades copycats.

This is a short set of encounters in comparison with the first book – you could probably enjoy the whole thing on a train journey of a decent length – and while it is very similar to the first book, Emma’s style has been tightened and the editing seems to be a bit more stringent, which is welcome. There is perhaps still a touch too much on what kind of food and drink she’s enjoying from one day to the next, but it’s certainly been reined in from the first book. And if you liked the frank descriptions of debauchery from First Tango, you’ll love the naughty stories contained here. Pure, wonderful, matter-of-fact filth.

Rate it, babycakes: Four out of Five Stars.
Read my Inappropriately Personal Interview with Emma here
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E-Book Review 17: Sylvia Lowry – April in Paris

E-Book Review 17: Sylvia Lowry – April in Paris: The Erotic Adventures of April Jones, Volume 1

Sum it up, Hot Lips: Aspiring young author of erotica gets fucked – and fucked over – in France’s lust-filled capital.

Review it, you horny fox: An enjoyable romp of a novelette, set in 1950s Paris and groaning under the weight of several vividly described hot and wet encounters involving our titular, and most welcoming, heroine, April Jones.April in Paris

Ms Jones is a young American writer hoping to get her filthy stories published. The idea of an erotic writer writing an erotic story about her own erotic adventures as she tries to get her erotic writings out to the erotica-thirsty public is a clever device that immediately and economically establishes April as a wonderfully carnal creature with a rampant sexuality.

The first chapter jumps in quickly after some perhaps slightly verbose descriptions of Paris, as April seduces a male publisher who needs little encouragement in showing this uninhibited American how the French make love. However, he is also so impressed with her literary efforts that he makes off with them while April is still enjoying her post-coital glow.

The rest of the story involves April putting together the pieces of why he would do such a thing, and discovering who is involved in what turns out to be something of a conspiracy. She mainly does this by, well, fucking people. It’s an unorthodox way to play detective, but also, it turns out, pretty effective. Perhaps Columbo should try it some time. I won’t reveal exactly what she discovers so as not to spoil the story, but this never less than diverting tale certainly left me wanting to know what Ms Jones might get up to, and with whom, in Rio, which appears to be the destination for Volume 2.

And so to the important bit: the sex. Is it hot? I mean, we all love a good yarn to accompany our literary porn, but the important thing is that these things do the job they are supposed to do and give us that special hard or wet feeling. The short answer is yes, it is hot. Sylvia doesn’t hold back and I particularly enjoyed the scene of April becoming a voyeur as Romanian Goddess Adrianna has some fun with her Albanian stallion, Dmitri.

Sylvia’s mixing of a lofty, refined style (complete with a vocabulary that I twice needed the Kindle dictionary to help me out with) with flamboyant dirtiness makes for an extremely pleasing juxtaposition. She might use some flowery language to describe a work of art or a Paris street, but in the next paragraph there’ll be a wonderfully earthy, sexy turn of phrase that forces you to start rabidly fantasising about the person sitting opposite you on the train.

Here’s a good example of that classical style mixed with some lovely, filthy language:

‘Having anointed me in its delicious essence, his spunk cascaded down towards my snatch, descending victoriously onto the chaise below as I idly fingered the viscous flow.’

Or this, which is almost bizarre in its imagery, but similarly delightful:

‘… his colossal load erupted first briefly on my thighs and then on the face of an innocent stone carving of an angel. The descending, sticky white cascade looked exquisitely like marble tears.’

As much as I love those descriptions, they do highlight a small point that bothered me a little about Sylvia’s writing. It is extremely difficult, I think, to continually come up with new ways to describe a sex scene, to find new and interesting adjectives and verbs and adverbs for similar acts. And we all have our favourite words that we use, unconsciously, more than we should when writing erotica. There are forgivable similarities in those two quotes, but Sylvia does have a few words that appear so often that they begin to jar: the word ‘capricious’, or derivations of it, is there far too regularly; and April frequently flashes an ‘impish smile’ – not as frequently as she has spunk on her face, to be fair, but a bit too frequently nonetheless.

These are perhaps dull things to critique, but the fact that these technical points are my biggest criticisms of this story should indicate how much I enjoyed it overall. I’ll be reading April’s next adventure – and hoping that Sylvia allows her to be suitably emboldened by her Paris experiences to push a few boundaries once she gets to south America. As Darren Aronofsky said of Natalie Portman in Black Swan – I want to see her scandalise April…

Rate it, sticky fingers: Four out of Five Stars.
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E-Book Review 16: Julia Chambers – My Renaissance

E-Book Review 16: Julia Chambers – My Renaissance

Sum it up, Heartthrob: A love letter to Italy, a love letter to very hot sex.

Review it, Horndog: When I started my erotic reading odyssey this was exactly the sort of book I was in search of. This book is what I was after.myrenaissance

What Julia has written here is elegant, interesting, intelligent, clever and absorbing. Just as importantly it is beautifully filthy and frequently arousing. I’m not really sure what else you can ask much more of an erotic novel.

The story concerns Julia’s year spent teaching English in Milan as a young woman. Anyone who has spent a year abroad (or even less) at such an impressionable age can testify to the impact this kind of experience can have on a life. Leaving home and a familiar country at that stage in life often results in a person opening up, flowering, forgetting inhibitions and letting go of the rules that may have governed their life to that point. It might be the first time that they feel truly ‘free’ – away from parents, formal education – even friends.

So it’s a ripe place to set an erotic novel, because, let’s face it, who doesn’t travel at that age without hoping for a sexual escapade or two? What’s particularly pleasant here is the idea of the author looking back on this time from afar (the story is set in the early 1980s), with the benefit of the wisdom life has given her since. This imbues the story with a certain warm, amber tint – memories have perhaps become idealised, but are all the more fun for it.

This is, in the end, a kind of exploration of love. Julia’s love for the beauteous country of Italy, its people and its peccadilloes, and a love for lust, even love itself. The very first chapter jumps in with an exquisitely erotic lesbian scene drawn with such tenderness and fierce desire that I found it difficult to believe it could be topped for the rest of the book. Perhaps it never was, but I can’t really class that as a criticism. The encounters she describes are all gloriously different, from the older man who merely wants to watch her finger her cunt while he brings himself to orgasm, to the bucolic woodland scene, complete with scarcely-believable-in-its-perfection lovemaking in a cool pool of water. Some erotic books really struggle to offer variety, but there’s everything here to be enjoyed and even moments that start pleasantly but end with a bitter taste. For all the gorgeous sex that’s made beautifully easy to imagine, there is realism here too.

Over the course of the book we feel Julia grow and mature, become more confident with her body, become more independent – in short, become an adult. She’s tutored well, of course, but she’s undoubtedly a fast learner, even if she can never quite let go of her favourite teacher/student. Intrigue comes in the form of this teacher/student’s husband, a striking man but one whose veneer covers a darker side.

We have to have a little criticism here, of course, and perhaps at times Julia does veer towards one of those awful travel bores, who knows everything about a foreign country and won’t stop going on about how marvellous it is until you begin to wonder why they don’t just go and live there, or marry the whole nation, if that’s how they feel. They tell you little facts about the people living there and have no idea about the enormous generalisations they’re making based on the few people they know well. We all know these people, and they’re usually lovely, but you just wish sometimes they’d shut up. Anyway, I digress and fortunately, Julia doesn’t stray too far down that path, so it never causes more than the odd roll of the eyes, and even then it can be put down to the enthusiasm of youth, which makes one feel as if it’s purely jealousy on one’s own part.

A quick word on the language. I’m never impressed by erotica authors who seem afraid of the most powerful sexual words – fortunately, Julia has no such prudish concerns. I loved this typical little description, a nice mesh of food and sex: ‘…this man was not merely a good after dinner speaker, he was a gourmet and my cunt was his antipasto, primo piatto, secondo and dolce.’ Makes you wonder which party to be envious of, that. And this was possibly my favourite line, purely for its blunt precision: ‘Concetta was Mrs Corallo’s maid and had a heart as big as her arse.’ Wonderful!

This is a beautiful first novel. Read alone, and late at night. You won’t be disappointed.

Rate it, you love machine: Five out of Five Stars.
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E-Book Review 15: Richard Ready – Sex Personals Stories 4

E-Book Review 15: Richard Ready – Sex Personals Stories 4: Mega Blowout Volume

Sum it up, Sexy Beast: A short story featuring a well hung sex machine with incredible stamina, culminating in a big orgy.

Review it, Hot Stuff: I was thinking that the way to approach this review was to start a bit of a debate abut the difference between erotica told from the male point of view and the female point of view. But that seems like an enormous subject better suited to a separate blog. So I’ll do that another time.Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 14.48.18

I was mulling this because the stories I’ve read that we might very, very broadly term as ‘male erotica’ have been a little disappointing. For example, I found the George Pappas book, Monogamy Sucks, to be quite unsettling and rarely erotic. It wasn’t a bad read, but I felt that it regularly came uncomfortably close to misogyny. Richard’s short story didn’t leave me with those feelings, but it is a tale that highlights the difficulties of writing erotica where the ‘hero’ is a man.

I haven’t read the other stories in Richard’s series, so I don’t know the full back story to lead character Joel’s life, but he’s basically a fairly likeable, if private man, who refuses to be pinned down and who wants as much sex as he can get. Plus, he has an enormous cock and incredible staying power. And here’s my first issue: is such a man a man’s fantasy – someone a man wishes he was? Or is he a woman’s fantasy of what they want a lover to be capable of (this is a ‘straight’ story, so let’s leave aside the fantasies of gay men for now)? Or both? Or neither? Does a man want to read about another man who does things that are fairly likely to make the reader feel sexually inadequate? Are women really obsessed only with stamina and penis size?

We do know that Joel is fairly decent sort – he helps some people jump the line at a club by paying off the bouncer, for example. And he treats women well, even if his main goal is a raucous fuck. But beyond that, he is almost robotic; a man that drifts from one sexual encounter to another, always performing with rigour and vigour, never really concerned by much in life apart from his next lay. And that’s the problem here: there’s not a lot of light and shade – Joel is great in bed, he fucks a lot of women, he never falters. The man is a machine. There’s a lack of jeopardy here; it’s simply a case of who he’s going to fuck next and when.

But if the characters are broad and the story simple (Richard bows to an older woman’s plea that he dominate her, and is later involved in an impromptu orgy at a student house party with fuck buddy Cherise), the fact is that Richard can certainly write a good sex scene. His style is ferocious and to the point: this is fucking, pure and simple, so if you’re looking for a visceral, rapid, one-handed read then this may be the story for you. Personally, I prefer a bit more suspense, a bit more intrigue, a bit more subtlety.

But what this story does offer is three confidently-written, hardcore sex scenes that perhaps men in particular might dream of taking part in. The women are perhaps rather one-dimensional fantasies – the slightly pathetic older woman who’s desperate for a good seeing to; the student slut etc. There’s even a woman so turned on by watching Joel’s cocksmanship that we’re told she’s rubbing her pussy without even knowing it – that’s the kind of sexual power Joel possesses. But despite all this, Richard does conjure some enjoyably dirty images, particularly in the orgy scene.

On occasion, the writing is a little slack: two or three times, Joel briefly becomes ‘Greg’; tenses are sometimes mixed up; and we see everything through Joel’s eyes until one moment near the end when we suddenly jump into the mind of one of the women he’s having sex with, which is rather jarring.

Overall, though, this is an enjoyably filthy piece of work that would perhaps benefit from being taken in the context of the other stories in the series. From a personal point of view, I’d like Richard to develop his characters and the story a little further, which would add greater weight and intrigue to the sex – but I also accept that perhaps that’s not the point with stories like these. It’s about quick, rough gratification, and on that level, Richard certainly delivers.

Rate it, you sex maniac: Three out of Five Stars.
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E-Book Review 14: Danielle Austen – The Magi’s Daughter

E-Book Review 14: Danielle Austen – The Magi’s Daughter: Book Two in The Prophecy Girl Trilogy

Sum it up, you horny bastard: Some sex-crazed magical beings have a lot of sex while coming under threat from a really evil sex-crazed magic lunatic intent on universe-domination (and doing a lot of sex).

Review it, you dirty slut: So, having admitted in my last review that I’m not a massive fan of fantasy, here I am reviewing another fantasy book straight away. I confess, I am still not a convert to the genre, but that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy this very well-written novel by Danielle Austen – in fact I loved it, mainly because she really does know how to write erotica.magi

The sex scenes in this story come, if you’ll excuse the wholly deliberate pun, very thick and very fast. There’s tons of fucking. Girl-Boy; Girl-Girl; Girl-Girl-Boy; Girl-Boy-Boy; Girl-Boy-Girl-Boy… and so on. Pretty much any combination you can think of, really, apart from an all male scene. There’s so much flagrant fornication, and it’s always so good, so varied, so well-described and so, basically, hot, that it’s a wonder Danielle has space to weave in an actual plot. Maybe that’s why she’s taking three books to tell this particular story. I don’t know – but I’m glad she is.

I haven’t read the first book, but I think this can pretty much stand alone – I didn’t really feel like I was playing catch-up, but if I was to recommend Danielle, I would suggest starting at the beginning, because I suspect it would be worthwhile.

The story focuses on a family of ‘Magi’ (broadly, magical beings) – parents Dmitri and Lindsey and stunning, white-haired daughter Cereza. It’s partly the tale of Cereza’s coming of age (covered in wonderfully graphic detail) but it’s also the story of the threat to all magi from the dastardly, murderous magician Angelito. I think that, without exception, all characters enjoy an extremely active sex-life (have I mentioned that?).

This story really belongs to Cereza, a magi with great powers who is still learning how to control them and when to use them. This mirrors her exploration into her sexuality, which starts a little awkwardly and experimentally, but soon develops into a wholly believable and intense love affair with an Italian stud. Clearly, she takes after her parents, who  enjoy entertaining couples in a private room where all kinds of filth goes on. It’s delightful.

Even Angelito, the nasty bastard, loves the act of love, even if it’s rarely particularly gentle or romantic. Danielle covers a great number of fantasies within this story – different ages, different sexes and plenty of different positions and implements, and it’s this admirable diversity that means her erotic scenes are constantly intriguing and arousing. I’ve read plenty of stories where you do feel that once you’ve read one sex scene, you’ve read them all, but Danielle is genuinely expert at keeping things fresh. I read much of this story on trains to and from work, and it was both a pleasurable and slightly awkward sensation because each day the story genuinely turned me on.

However, some element of personal taste has to come into any review, and the fact is I am still not sold on fantasy as the genre for me. I find the sudden blasts of magic and amazing power a little, well, silly. In no way do I look down on anyone who loves fantasy, by the way, this is just how I feel when reading it. For example, it seems weird to me that super-magical beings that can use telekinesis and stuff still have use for things like condoms. It’s a weird mixing of the amazing and the mundane.

I always feel that I’m slightly locked out of the fantasy world with its particular obsessions and styles and conventions. And yet, I do love great erotica, and Danielle’s erotica is undeniably great. She provokes physical evidence of that. Perhaps at times it veers slightly towards what I would think is more male fantasy than female, but I think those boundaries are blurring towards disappearance these days.

A fun novel that I think fantasy fans will adore and erotica fans will admire. If you love fantasy and erotica, I suggest you read this book. Quickly.

Rate it, you sexy bitch: Four out of Five Stars.

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